Nicholas Zakas' Personal Blog A deviation from my usual tech writing

Leadership lessons from Gordon Ramsay

I'll be the first to admit that I'm a big fan of Gordon Ramsay. I think he's one of the most interesting characters on TV and you can be sure that both Hell's Kitchen and Kitchen Nightmares are set to record on my DVR. For those unfamiliar, Ramsay is usually shown on commercials screaming vulgarities at seemingly hapless chefs who are on the verge of tears. Yes, some people tune in to these shows to watch him explode over incorrectly prepared entrees and cold appetizers, but there are really important leadership lessons to be found if you strip away the obscenities from Ramsay's language.

Before going further, I first must say that I don't condone calling co-workers names or swearing at them, as Ramsay often does on his shows. What I constantly find impressive is how the contestants and restauranteurs responds to him. There is never a doubt, at any point in time, that Ramsay is in charge. Even when people start to yell back at him, he still appears cool, in control, and unphased. And at the end of it all, most of the people thank him for everything he's done. I really wanted to take a moment and think about how he accomplishes all of this and how it boils down to a few simple rules.

Don't accept mediocrity

Ramsay hates mediocrity. When he says something is "unexciting" or "safe", it's a bad thing. He doesn't want people to be average or dishes to be passable, he wants them to be great. His job, as he sees it, is to bring everyone up a level or two. This is what separates great individuals from great leaders: making the others around you better.

Sports are a place where this typically comes up a lot. In basketball, for instance, there have been many great scorers such as Allen Iverson. The reason he's talked about differently than players like Magic Johnson, Larry Bird, and Michael Jordan is that Iverson was a selfish player while the others were selfless. Even today, players like LeBron James and Kevin Garnett push their teammates to be better, to keep working harder.

Gordon Ramsay does the same. Though some of his tactics are a bit over the top, in the end, everyone respects him for having pushed them harder. When he finally does say, "nice job," you know it's well-deserved.

Be equally quick to criticize and praise

It's hard for some people to realize when Ramsay is complimenting someone because he's so much more subdued than when he's criticizing. The important thing, though, is that he's just as quick to praise as he is to criticize. Ramsay isn't looking for an excuse to tear down the next hapless soul he comes across, he's just providing his honest feedback to the person. Whether that feedback be positive or negative, it comes just as quickly as is delivered with an accompanying about of enthusiasm or dismay.

I think this is an important lesson for leaders of all kinds. You won't be looked upon favorably if you only ever point out what people do wrong. You don't want to be known as the "bad news" person or the dark cloud that's always circling above. Making sure to find opportunities to praise at least as often as you criticize earns you much more respect from teammates.

Give actionable feedback

Whether the feedback is positive or negative, Ramsay always provides details. Always. Though he may drop a few f-bombs in the middle when complaining, he'll also say, "too salty" or "it's raw" or "overcooked" or "too dry." All of this is actionable feedback: the chefs can take that information and make adjustments to fix it. This is the mark of an excellent leader, someone who not only points out what is wrong but how to correct it the next time.

Positive feedback is also presented by Ramsay with details. Cooked perfectly. Love the seasoning. Tender and moist, delicious. Once again, this feedback is actionable because you know exactly what he wants to see the next time. Just saying "good job" doesn't mean much, saying it and accompanying with details about why something was done well is far more useful and the mark of a good leader.

Don't fight fire with fire

One of the most interesting traits of Ramsay is how he deals with people who are yelling and arguing with him. Normally, he's the one doing the yelling. If someone starts to yell back, Ramsay completely shifts gears. First, there's a bit of a test to see if the person will back down: he restates what he just said and asks the person to accept the feedback (using colorful language, frequently). If the other person still doesn't back down,  he actually gets quieter instead of escalating by increasing his volume to try to top the other person.

One of the most impressive things I saw recently on an episode of Kitchen Nightmares was when a chef lost it and started yelling at Ramsay. Ramsay stopped talking immediately, let the chef get his thoughts out, then calmly stated, "why are you doing this?" It was amazing how quickly things calmed down after that. Even for someone as loud and prone to yelling at Ramsay, it's important to understand the value of changing gears when someone else is riled up.

Discuss big disagreements privately

Although some contestants on Hell's Kitchen would certainly say that Ramsay "humiliated" them in one way or another, it's been my observation that he actually tries to avoid doing that. He'll give his unfiltered, direct feedback to whomever needs it. If that feedback isn't received, or he senses there's something else going on, Ramsay quickly asks the person to speak privately. Only in private does he say the things that could potentially give others the wrong idea.

I can't tell you how often I see people continue arguments via email or in a large group when they should be taken offline and discussed privately. There is no better way to communicate clearly than to talk face-to-face with someone. I've personally experienced drawn-out arguments come to a close in just five minutes of personal discussion. Without an audience, people are free to drop their egos and defense mechanisms, and things get done much faster and more amicably.

Be willing to apologize

As I mentioned previously, I'm always impressed at how Ramsay stays in control no matter the situation. It doesn't matter who's yelling at him or even if someone threatens to beat him up (as happened last season), he stays incredibly poised and calm without backing down. I love watching how he reacts in different situations to keep control. One particularly interesting moment happened on season five of Hell's Kitchen, where on chef named Robert had a nasty altercation with Ramsay.

During the heat of competition, Ramsay had taken to calling Robert "Bobby" instead of his name (or other choice of nicknames referring to his weight). Robert grew angrier and angrier, and as a result, his performance suffered and Ramsay called him on it. It was clear that Robert was incredibly upset, moreso than just your average contestant that Ramsay yelled at.

Robert requested that he speak to Ramsay in private, and Ramsay agreed, calling him up to his office for a closed-door meeting. Once inside, Robert calmly explained that "Bobby" isn't his name, it's his father's name, and indicated that he does not have a good relationship with father and doesn't want to be reminded of him. He said being called "Bobby" brought back a lot of painful memories and that's why he couldn't perform as well as he liked in the kitchen.

I waited in anticipation to see how Ramsay would handle this situation. At this point, though, I should have guessed. He apologized. But he didn't just say, "I'm sorry." Instead, he spoke with the same level of detail as if he was providing feedback on his own behavior. He said that he didn't realize calling him Bobby would be so painful, he apologized and said that Robert had his word: he would never call him Bobby again.

It was a particularly poignant moment and it really opened my eyes to Ramsay's thought process. He knew, in this case, that he had unintentionally caused emotional harm to someone. He wanted Robert to pick up the pace, yes, but he had no intention of taking him back to a painful moment in his life. By apologizing to Robert, sincerely and completely, he gained Robert's respect and they have a good relationship for the rest of the show until Robert was excused for medical reasons.

Leadership lessons abound

As with any skill, it's important to look for people from whom you can learn, and leadership is a skill just like any other. I once again want to state that I disagree with Ramsay's constant name-calling and vulgarity to get his point across. It makes him a more interesting TV character, but that's not the part I'd advise anyone to emulate. Rather, his actions and attention to detail are truly impressive. His ability to keep calm in all situations, the way that other rally around him, and how almost everyone he comes across eventually ends up grateful for his advice and assistance. Clearly, there's something going on here.

People respect strong leaders even when those leaders have glaring weaknesses. Sometimes, they respect leaders more because of those weaknesses and human frailties. So I'll keep looking for people from whom I can learn the delicate skill of leadership, and I have no doubt that there will be more surprising sources in the future.