Yiayia: Nicholas.... (pondering)
Yiayia: ...do...do they have Halloween in California?
Yiayia: They do?!??!
Me: Yes, they do.
Mom: Mom, it's a national thing.
Yiayia: It is?
Me: Yes. (laughing)
Yiayia: Well how the hell am I supposed to know?
Me: (still laughing)
Yiayia: But I mean, do they dress up and do trick-or-treating?
Me: Yes, they do all that.
Yiayia: Then why don't I see any pumpkins or decorations?
Me: I'm not in a very festive neighborhood, apparently.
Me: Trust me, there will be plenty of costumes and trick-or-treating.
Yiayia: What's all that stuff in your yard?
Me: The kids next door throw it over.
Yiayia: Well, why don't you throw it back?
Me: I used to, but they keep throwing it over.
Yiayia: Well, they just want to play with you.
Me: Um, no they don't.
Yiayia: Yeah they do! They're just little kids.
Me: They're not that little, they're at least five.
Yiayia: That's little!
Me: But it's old enough that they know what happens when you throw something over the fence.
Yiayia: They just want to play with you.
Me: No they don't.
Mom: And he's not even home when it happens.
Yiayia: They think it's a game!
Me: No, they don't.
Yiayia: You should go out and play with them.
Me: Remember last time you visited me, you said you'd never come again?
Me: You did, you said that was the last time you'd come to visit me.
Yiayia: Why did I say that?
Me: Probably because you're a crazy old lady.
Yiayia: I never said that.
Me: Yes you did.
Yiayia: Oh, probably because I figured I'd be dead soon.
Me: That must've been it.
Yiayia: Everywhere I go, I'm the oldest person there.
Me: We can stop by the nursing home on the way back, if you'd like, then you'd be the youngest.
Yiayia: Did I sleep on this futon?
Yiayia: Last time I was here?
Mom: Yes, that's the same one.
Yiayia: Was it this big before?
Yiayia: I think you're lying.
Papou (Greek for grandfather) is 93 years old and lives in a nursing home. He has slowed down and has some trouble remembering things and people, though periodically has shocking moments of lucidity. He's also a bit girl crazy (insert joke about me here). He always asks about my love life, not because he wants me married or cares if I'm dating, but because he hopes I'll bring a girl around for him to see. This stems from when my ex came with me a couple of times to visit him. Even two years after we broke up, he was still asking for her. Anyways, enjoy!
Papou: Oh, good to see you...um...do you have a girlfriend?
Me: No, no I don't.
Papou: Oh...well why not? You have a job, right?
Papou: A good job?
Papou: You make good money?
Papou: Then why don't you have a girlfriend? Girls like money!
Me: Yes they do.
Papou: Are you working too hard?
Papou: You should find a girlfriend.
Me: I know, I should.
Papou: You have your own place?
Me: Yes, I have my own place in California, it's pretty nice.
Papou: You have your own place but not a girlfriend?
Papou: Well why not?
Me: I'm too busy working.
Papou: You're the oldest grandson from your father.
Me: I'm the oldest grandchild you have.
Papou: I have two...four...grand...
Me: You have six grandchildren, four boys and two girls.
Papou: Right, and you don't have a girlfriend.
Me: Yes, that's right.