Nicholas Zakas' Personal Blog A deviation from my usual tech writing

Movie theater annoyers

Went out to see Rocky Balboa last night and was pleasantly surprised. I thought it was actually a good movie and people were really into it. Unfortunately, it also reminded me why I hate going to the movies. It seems that people just don't know how to behave at the movies anymore. Perhaps it's due to the prevalence of DVDs and home theaters, where people can say and do what they want without disturbing anyone else. Maybe people in the theaters actually just forget that they're not at home. But man, I'm so tired of dealing with people's ignorance. In my experience, there are some specific types of annoyers:

• The Commentator. This is the person who provides a running commentary on what is happening in the movie, such as, "Oh dear, I don't think it's a good idea to go in that door." Really, I have my own internal dialogue going on, I don't need yours.
• The Repeater. This person delights in repeating the funny and/or intense lines that were just uttered in the movie. For example, the movie line is "Everyone knows, is for girls!" The repeater then says, "Ah hahaha, is for girls!! Hahaha."
• The Chatterbox. There's usually at least two of these people who don't shut up the entire movie. They just talk throughout the entire film, sometimes about nothing in particular.
• The Interpreter. This person finds the need to explain each scene immediately after it's over. Sometimes it's to another person (perhaps an elderly relative), sometimes it's to themselves. This usually sounds like, "ohhhhh, okay, so he's actually the bad guy."
• The Second-Timer. After having already seen the movie, this person sees fit to take another person and then precede each scene with, "now watch this" or "this is a good scene" or "did you get that?"
• The Texter. This person is constantly opening their cell phone (the one with a really strong light) to respond to and send text messages throughout the entire movie. They may not even be paying attention, but everytime that they open their phone, it catches the corner of your eye and distracts you. You feel glad that you're not epileptic.
• The Phoner. The person who actually answers their phone during the movie is, as far as I'm concerned, the absolute lowest form of life. What would possess you to interupt an entire theater of people because your friend is calling? If it's an emergency, then run outside and answer it; if not, then don't answer! "Yeah, I'm at the movies....Rocky Balboa....yeah, it's pretty good..." Talk about it afterwards, schmuck.

These people are the prime reason that I don't go to the movies that much. And when I do go, I'm usually the one who turns around and tells these people to be quiet. I just paid 10 dollars to escape reality for a bit, and I don't appreciate being disturbed.